The random ramblings of a perpetual procrastinator. These are the life & times of a nursing home CNA navigating the ups & downs of living with someone who's living with a disability. A sometimes amusing, sometimes bittersweet look at my journey into real adulthood.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I feel like a loser

I have done nothing for at least the last week.

When I say nothing, I of course mean working out.

I'm not going to make excuses for myself because the whole point of buying a treadmill was so that I could work out without going anywhere, which was my biggest hurdle.

However, I haven't been sleeping properly, which I think has added to my generally bad mental mood.

There's nothing wrong with my life.  Sure, DJ & I hit little bumps in the rode like everyone else does.  But we've got a great relationship, a beautiful home & a horde of naughty furballs who we love.  I have no reason to feel so down in the dumps - but I do.

I'm working on trying to pinpoint what it is, which has been difficult since none of the usual suspects are the cause this time.

But today was better.  For the first time in a while I slept properly, & I feel better already.  I've decided to give myself a few more days to try to figure out what's causing my funk & (hopefully) keep on sleeping.  Then, it's back on the bandwagon...or back on the treadmill, I suppose.

I'm not going to give up, I'm just going to accept that I'm starting over - & I'm determined to make it work.

Friday, July 8, 2011


I did really well with the whole exercise thing for  few days, & then it all went to hell.

My life has gotten in the way, once again.  I hate to use that as an excuse, & normally I wouldn't, but for the past few days & have done nothing but run back & forth to the doctor's office in an attempt to get all the medical requirements taken care of for school.  Kind of important.

And due to all that running back & forth, I'm not sleeping.  Makes me want to jump off a bridge.

But, as of tomorrow morning, that running around should be done...for the time being.  So tomorrow afternoon it's back on the bandwagon - no excuses.  There's no reason that I can't find 30 minutes to workout.

Did anyone else experience this in the beginning, or is it just me?

Monday, July 4, 2011

Day 1: This already sucks

Although I have no delusions about my fitness, I do work in a very physical job & would like to think I'm not a total mush.

I'd be wrong in thinking that.

I got on my new treadmill for the first time today.  My goal was to power-walk for a full 30 minutes - & I did!  Yay for small miracles!

Even though I achieved my goal, my joy was short lived...because I felt like I was dying.

Not only did my feet hurt like hell (I have this.), the sweat was pouring off of me.  BTW, I am sorry for the lovely image you probably just got in your mind.

It's humbling to realize that, at age 26, a brisk 30 minute walk in my air conditioned house has that effect on me.

But, that's the reason why I'm taking this journey.  Everyone has to start somewhere.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

There's always room for one more

I went out to breakfast Saturday morning & ended up with a new addition to the family.

Meet Oliver!