Well, that was rude.

Last last week a new resident moved into our unit.  I'm not sure what her story is, but previous to coming to the nursing home she lived on her own in a senior citizen highrise.  For people who are confused moving into a new place full of people you don't know & suddenly having a roommate is a very difficult transition.

This particular resident is having trouble sleeping at night - so she rings her call bell a zillion times.  It's sometimes frustrating because we each have 20 residents to take care of.  There's definitely time to devote a little one-on-one time to each of them, but it's really hard to constantly be running back to her room "just to chat."

But, we've all done our best, because becomming familiar with her surroundings & the new people is what she really needs.

So imagine my surprise when we got report from the nurse last night & were told that this resident's family requested that she have all her meals back in her room (and stay in there pretty much the entire day...alone) because they don't want her in our dining room "seeing some of the other residents."

And I knew exactly what residents they were referrinf too.  There are people with end stage Alzheimer's desease, who have totally lost the ability to speak, but who frequently have loud vocal outbursts.  There are people who have lost the ability to move their arms & legs, so they are very contracted in their chairs.  These people are elderly & can't do things the way they used to, so some spill their food.

But, these are still people.  They deserve to be treated with dignity & respect, not only by our staff, but by visitors as well.  They are not the scourge of the earth.  They are someone's parents & grandparents.

I know the stigma that sourrounds nursing homes.  And I also know that, if you're not used to it, some of the things you see can be jarring.  But at the end of the day our purpose is to take care of those who simply can't do it on their own anymore.  Those things are meant to be embraced so that these residents have a good quality of life until the end.

The ignorance of some people will never cease to amaze me.

Just one of those days...

Last night was my last night at work before my 11 day vacation.

So naturally, nothing went smoothly at all.

Actually, I shouldn't say that.  Everything was fine until about 4:45 AM.

At 4:45 AM I was on my way to empty my dirty linens, & as a passed one of the resident's rooms I heard the most awful noise.

A nurse & I went running in only to find sed resident totally naked, covered in poop & bleeding from the head - because she slipped in a puddle of her own pee.

Needless to say chaos ensued & before it was over I was covered in all manner of bodily fluids.

Have I mentioned lately how much I need this vacation?

Something's missing

Last night at work my unit was overstaffed, so I was pulled to the Alzheimer's unit to help out.

There's never a dull moment on that unit because the residents are totally mobile & totally confused.

Even though they're in their 70s/80s/90s, they think they're in their 20s/30s/40s & they need to pick up their children at the bus stop right away. 

Last night was no exception.

I was doing some paperwork when I heard an alarm - which means someone is crawling out of bed.

I ran to his room hoping to prevent a fall.  And staning there in the doorway was the resident - wearing a long sleeve camoflouge shirt & an adult diaper...pants mysteriously missing.

I managed to help him to the bathroom & back to bed without giggling.  As I was leaving, I heard some comotion back out in the hallway, so I ran back out to help the nurse.

Imagine my surprise when I encountered yet another resident with a long sleeve shirt & no pants - only this time, without the courtesy of adult diaper or other manner of undergarment.

Yep.  This is my job.

Wouldn't trade it for anything.

My choice

"You can tell me to shut up anytime," said the charge nurse who had to know she was asking very personal questions about my relationship. 

But, my policy has always been that I prefer people to ask me questions instead of discussing my life amongst themselves behind my back.  I hate that.

It was such an odd conversation that I felt it was worth sharing.

She started with, "He's in a wheelchair, right?  And you're okay with that?"

Yes, DJ uses a wheelchair.  I think the fact that we've been together for over two years & own a home is evidence enough that I'm okay with it.

Then we went on to, "So you really love him, right?  You don't just pity him, do you?"

Yes, I do really, really love him - despite how it may seem when you read some of my blog posts.    Although I do pity him, it's not becase of the wheelchair...it's because he has to live with me & my ever-changing mood.

And you're going to love the next one. "The muscular dystrophy, what exactly does that effect?  I mean, does his penis still work?"

I'll just say yes.  We won't elaborate any further.  You're welcome.

The conversation then turned serious.  This nurse knows my MIL, who works at the same facility as me.  So she knows that DJ's father passed away a few years ago.  Her next question was, "His dad was pretty young when he died, are you okay with that?"

No, I'm not okay with that.  Even though DJ & I weren't together when his dad passed away, I'm sad every time I think about it & I wish things has turned out differently so he could still be here with his children. 

As it relates to DJ & I, I use the bus theory.  None of us know what the future holds.  I may walk out my front door later today & get run over by sed bus (although it's highly unlikely, since there are no buses on my road).  Along those same lines, I don't know what will happen in DJ's future.  The truth is, his disease effects his body in adverse ways.  And on top of that, he smokes & eats like crap.  More likely than not, we will not be in our 90s together.

If DJ lives to be the same age as his father we will have spent 24 years together.  Although no one hopes for an end date to their relationship, I am smart enough to know that some people go through their entire lives never having the love I get in one day with him.

What I told that nosey nurse was, "I choose to be thankful for the time I have."

Tuesday Ten

Lately I don't have the energy to string together enough cohesive thoughts to make an actual blog post, so I'm stealing an idea from one of my favs, Ms. BFG herself.  Stop over & take a look...after you read mine, please.

Here's my Tuesday Ten


1.  Yesterday morning when I was driving home from work I saw a turkey politely waiting to cross the road.  Only after I passed did he look both ways & start to cross.  Total genteman.

2.  Dear Mother Nature, Please decide to just be warm.  I can't handle one nice day followed by many not so nice days anymore.  It's cramping my style.  Thanks!

3.  I have been saying I'm going to decorate for easter for a while now.  Still not decorated.

4.  I don't now why everyone always makes fun of Rachael Ray (& by everyone, I mean my grumpy boyfriend & his friend) but I love her.  In protest, I think I'll cook only Rachael Ray meals for a while.  Sucks to be him.

5.  Speaking of the Food Network, did anyone else watched the Chopped All Stars Tournament??  I am so not a fan of the guy who won.  I didn't appreciate his comments about the other (better, more well established, etc) chefs.  In poor taste, random guy.

6.  I requested to extend my upcoming vacation (before it even started) & I'm crossing all my fingers & toes that it gets approved.  Eleven days off.  Oh. My. God.  My head might explode from joy.  I hate that place.

7.  Does anyone else love making up your own situation approtiate hash tags on Twitter? #ido

8.  I woke up this morning afternoon & when I opened my living room curtains the first thing I saw was some dude driving a riding mower up the road past my house.  Weird.

9. I'm addicted to crappy horror movies on the Sci-Fi channel - especially when they involve crazy, unrealistic sea monsters.  Dinoshark, I'm looking at you...with love.

10.  I've got 3 terrible, horrible, no good, very bad cats.  Anyone want them?

About last night

My 3rd shift life started earlier this week.  Although there have been a few speed bumps, for the most part things are going really well.  I'm adjusting to a new sleeping schedule, & a new routine at work, but I'm excited.  I know I made the right decision.

Why then, you must be asking, are things going well only for the most part?

Last night I met my charge nurse - someone that everyone (from CNAs to nurses & back again) has warned me about since I accepted this 3rd shift position.

And let me just say, she lives up to my expectations.  FML.

I think annoying is the best way to describe her.  She's the kind of person who needs to be taken with a grain of salt, & that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Instead of talking about her, I've got a cute story for you.

During 3rd shift most of the residents are in bed.  The CNAs make rounds throughout the night to take people to the bathroom if they're able & make sure the ones who can't are clean & dry.

So, there I am, making my rounds at some ungodly hour of the early morning, when I meet a celebrity!

I go into a resident's room expecting to have to wake her up.  As soon as I click on the light she pops up in bed, all bright-eyed & bushy-tailed, & says, "You know I used to be Ginger Rogers, right?"

I wish I had thought to ask for an autograph.

Things I'm doing at 4:00 AM

• Not sleeping.

• Watching Stargate SG-1 on Netflix.  I'm trying to take a greater interest in the TV that my boyfriend is actually willing to watch after several years of him suffering through Maury & Judge Judy.  Love him!

• Complaining.

• Looking at the house that was clean yesterday, which is now untidy...again.

• Reflecting a little on my first night of 3rd shift - although I'm trying not to do that too much.

• Still thinking about how smokin' hot Patrick Wilson is. I watched Morning Glory earlier tonight.  Super cute movie.

• Also thinking about how smokin' hot Ryan Reynolds is.  I watched the Proposal earlier too.

• Googling pictures of smokin' hot men for your viewing pleasure.  You're welcome.

Tribute

Tonight is my last night working 2nd shift & my first night working 3rd shift.

It's a bittersweet moment for me.  I'm ready to start the next chapter of my life, nursing school.  Working 3rd shift is necessary in order for me to achieve that goal.

I will be getting to know new residents, whose lives I know I can positively impact.

But, I am also sad.  I will miss those residents who I've become so close too.  After spending 40 hours a week with them for almost a year, the idea of hardly seeing them anymore is breaking my heart.

They have become like family to me, & I love each of them. 

These are people who have lived long, incredible lives.  And even though I'm sometimes so busy I can't imagine that I'll ever get finished with my work, I always make time to listen to their stories - which is the most important lesson I ever learned.

Throughout my career I will meet & care for many patients.  I will treat them all with the same love & respect, but I will forget most of their names & faces.  No one can remember everyone, & I think that's a good thing in the end.

But the names & faces I'll remember vividly are those of my original residents.

The people who say, "Hi there, honey bee!  How are you today?" 

The people who say, "I'm so glad to see you! You're one of the people I feel close to here."

The people who say, "You're my little princess, & don't you forget it."

They've shared their wisdom, as well as their goodnight kisses.  I have been through silly moments, frustrating moments & downright disgusting moments with these people - & every single one has been worth it.

When I started this job I had never worked in health care before. I was terrified because I had no idea what to expect. It was these residents who really taught me how to do this job, better than any book or lecture or clincial practice ever could.

The hardest part about this transition is knowing that I will not get to see some of them ever again.  Although I will get back to this unit in my travels, those days will be infrequent & some of my dear loved ones will be gone.  And given what their situations are, I am not able to say goodbye to them because they wouldn't understand if I did.

The blessing is, most of them won't realize I'm gone.  They're happy to see me, but when it comes to patients with Alzheimer's & dementia, out of sight really is out of mind.  While I'm glad there will be no hurt feelings on their part, my own heart is breaking.

So this is my tribute & my goodbye to those people who not only taught me how to do what I do, but also to love what I do.

Starting to panic a little.

A week from tomorrow I switch to my 3rd shift life.

I'll be honest, I'm a little terrified at this point.

I've never worked 3rd shift before. 

I have some great friends & some family members who work 3rd shift where I do, so they've given me the rundown on how it works.  I'm sure I can do it - but you know, I'm a nervous Nelly & that will never change.

I haven't heard anything good about my new charge nurse (from both CNAs & nurses alike).  I've worked with all kinds of people before, & I'm not afraid to work from someone with (how shall I put this?)  personality issues, but things always go more smoothly when you get along well with your co-workers.

So I'm trying to keep my cool & realize that everything is going to work out ok - but the countdown is killing me a little.

The four words that ruined everything.

I was on cloud 9 yesterday!

I found out on Thursday that I got the 3rd shift position I bid on!!  Third shift is much less demanding & stressful, not to mention that my weekend schedule now coincides with MIL's.  Yay!

But the bigger news is, I checked the mailbox before I went to work yesterday afternoon & there was a letter from the nursing school I applied to - & I passed my placement test!!!!

That was the biggest sigh of  relief that I've had in a while.  I'm so glad that I don't have to go through it again.  Now I can move on to the next phase of the admissions process, which is submitting transcripts & references & having an interview with the program director. 

My interview is scheduled for March 17th.

And although my mood will likely change, I'm not stressed about the interview process right now.  I've had both good & bad interviews in my life, but I'm in a place where I'm comfortable with them.  It will be ok.

By this point you may be wondering why I was on cloud 9 & what 4 words ruined everything.

I was at work last night all in my good mood & such, & one of the nurses that I love brought me an envelope from the office.  She told me she didn't know what it was for, just that they asked her to bring it to me.  I told her it was my paperwork for my schedule change to 3rd shift.

She said she was really sad to see me go (she works on the horrible weekend with me), & had lots of questions about why I was going.  I explained the nursing school schedule was the biggest factor - Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday from 2-9:30.  She asked about my days off for third shift - every other Monday & Wednesday & every other weekend (the same as now, just on a different shift).

And then she said them - the four words that ruined everything.

"When will you sleep?"

My immediate reaction was, "It's only for a year & a half.  I'll be fine." 

But those words were like a ticking time bomb in my brain, which is why I woke up at 7:00 this morning, sick to my stomach...after having gone to bed at 3:00 AM.

When will I sleep?

After I graduate.

Fingers crossed!

I've got another week or so wait before I  find out if I passed my placement test for nursing school.

In hopes of having positive thoughts & putting good energy into the universe for myself, I decided to make a change yesterday.

I put in a bid for a 3rd shift position at work.

If When I start nursing school, my schedule will be Tues/Wed/Thurs from 2-9:30, so I'll need to work 3rd shift.  Lately there haven't been a lot of 3rd shift openings at work, so I was getting a little nervous about being able to get the position I needed when the time came.

All of a sudden, a full time position was posted yesterday, so I didn't waste any time.  I submitted my letter of interest, & called to follow up this morning. 

I don't want to be a pest, but I got screwed out of a position I bid on a few months ago because someone lost the paperwork.  So as you can imagine, my level of trust in these people is not so good.'

True to fashion, this person still hasn't called me back, so I'll be stopping in for a visit before I start today.

Anyway, enough about the crappy office staff at my job...

The prospect of a schedule that would work well with school is not the only reason I'm excited.  This new schedule would mean I work the same weekend as my MIL, so we won't be on opposite schedules anymore.  Plus, 3rd shift weekends are Friday & Saturday, so I've be off every other Friday & Saturday night.

And, the icing on the cake is, although it would be a different shift, I'd work the same weekend as the co-workers that I love - which means we'll also be off on the same weekends.

At my job there are two types of job postings, ones where bids are based on seniority & others where it's first come, first served.  I'm really, really hoping that since this position just got posted yesterday I was the first one to bid on it.

Wish me luck!

Where have I been?

I haven't blogged for a while, mostly because I haven't had anything interesting to stay, but also because work has been C-R-A-Z-Y!

Here's what I've been doing in my absence from the Blog World:

• Seeing a SteamPunk exhibit with my aunt
• Hitting up the Border's liquidation sale.  I'm so sad to see my local store go!
• Joining Paperback Swap, an online book club that my friend suggested.  Thanks, Steph!
• Reading Patton Oswalt's Zombie Spaceship Wasteland
• Catching up on my DVR back log
• Not cleaning out my purple room
• Waiting (im)patiently for the results of my nursing school placement test
• Reading your blogs.

I've also been trying to ignore the Charlie Sheen drama, which has been a fairly successful endeavor.  Now & then I hear some random piece of nonsense about him being a warlock or having tiger blood or whatever, but I'm mostly in the dark & I'm comfortable with that.

Happy freaking birthday.

We're having another  party at work today to celebrate someone's birthday.

He's one of the alright people, & he turned 50, so it's a big deal.

Everyone takes turns making an entree for these parties, so I offered to bring barbeque this time.  I'm fine with that.  No story there.

But, I do have a funny story about the most awful lady ever!

After I started working on my current unit at the nursing home, the first party we had was for the most awful lady ever.  I offered to make a cake, since no one else had.  I specifically asked my co-workers if there was something particular that this woman liked (at the time I sort of cared because she hadn't shown her awful colors yet).  Everyone told me it didn't matter & anything would be fine.

So, I made chocolate cake with cream cheese icing.  See, the thing about me is I hate cake.  I haven't eaten a piece of cake in literally years.  I have no idea what kind of cake people like to eat.  But, I do like chocolate & cream cheese, so that sounded good to me.

Everyone loved it too - except for the most awful lady ever.  When I asked her if I had any cake she said, "I don't eat that."  Not, "thanks for the gesture," or, "I can't eat it because I'm allergic to chocolate & it would kill me;" just, "I don't eat that."

I can't stand this bitch.

One of my other friendly, understanding co-workers told me that the most awful lady ever doesn't really eat sweet stuff in general.  I can respect that, because I'm sort of the same way.  I live for salty snacks.  So, even though she was rude about it, I  chalked it up to not being a cake fan.

Flash forward to a few months later when it was time for my birthday party & another co-worker made a different kind of cake.  There I am in our break room listening to the most awful lady ever go on & on & on about "how good that cake looks," & how she's "going to eat some of that."

Now, if I were more adult I would have just let it go...but where's the fun in that?  What would I do to amuse myself if I weren't annoying my co-workers?

So, the next time we had a party:  chocolate cake with cream cheese icing.

I am a force to be reckoned with.  It's best if you learn that early on.

Clearly my message was read loud & clear, because the most awful lady ever is bringing cake to this party today.

I think we can safely chalk this one up as a win for me.

Day 8 - Do you smell something?

This is the post I've been looking forward to!  The prompt for the day is to interlink some of my old posts into today's post.  I occasionally do that already, but not as a regular habit.

Those of you who have read this blog for a while know the thing I write about most is work.  But, I've gained lots of new readers as part of this challenge, & I wanted to introduce them to my favorite subject.

Last year I left my stable career as a call center supervisor for a local chain of department stores.  I was responsible for training & quality assurance.  I was with that company for 5 years, starting when I was 19.  And while I loved my co-workers & the company, the relationship had run it's course.  I was miserable because I wanted something more from my life.

I wanted my life to be about helping people; really helping people, not solving their issues with their online order or delivery of furniture.  And so, in the shakey economy I left my stable job to start over as a CNA at a nursing home. 

What a long, strange trip it's been.  And it's all documented on my little ol' blog - the good, the bad & the smelly.

Having never worked in healthcare before, there were a few jaw-dropping moments for me.  For example, the day I learned what a prolapsed uterus is.

And because being a CNA is a dirty job, I never have a shortage of stories about poo; like here & here.

But, it's not all fun & games.  I work with mostly elderly residents who are coming to the end of their lives.  When you spend so much time with people in such a personal setting, it's inevitable that they become like family.  So at times I have to blog about the bittersweet moments, like the first time I had to say goodbye & why cheese curls mean so much.

It may seem like I use my blog to complain about work.  I'll be honest, the job is stressful & I rely on my blog to vent so I don't drive my boyfriend crazy.  But I love what I do, & I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Day 2 - Oh, how I love thee! Let me count the ways...

I tend to not choose the subject matter of my blog.  It usually chooses me.  Something will happen that is either so funny, so sad or (most frequently) so annoying that I just have to get it out of my system.  And that is how the subject of today's post came about.

There I was at work last night trying to think of a list for today.  This challenge is all about promoting my blog, so I was trying to come up with an idea for listing the kinds of topics I usually write about.  But, I wanted to do something different.  Hmmm...

Then it hit me, or rather, it talked in my ear.  Let me be clear that I blog about work a lot.  If any of you have read my blog for any length of time, you know that I work in health care & my posts are sometimes graphic.  I'd like to start by saying that this post is not about poop, although there's bound to be at least one as we work through this challenge. Today's post, is about a coworker - the worst co-worker ever.

This is a woman in her 50s who has been at this job for 10 years.  Understandably so, she is tired, & doesn't have the same level of energy that she did when she started working.  But, she's more than capabale of doing the job, even if at a slightly slower pace.

But her age & her energy is not what slows this woman down.  What slows her down is constantly watching what everyone else is doing so she can write things down in her notebook (she actually does that!!!) & use it as ammunition later on.

Are you serious?!?!?  Who has time for that??  Look, I know I'm blogging about this woman & it probably seems like the same thing, but I don't think it is.  I'm venting my frustrations.  And, I don't have a notebook dedicated to dirt on my co-workers.

Anyway, back to my story: there I am yesterday at the nurse's station waiting to get report from the charge nurse.  I work with elderly residents & a lot of them are confused.  Some wear alarms so they don't fall & hurt themselves.  One such alarm was going off, & a co-worker that I love went to answer it.

Mean, horrible lady then whispered to another co-worker, "Oh look, she went for an alarm! I can't believe it."  Then she went onto say, "Some people don't answer alarms, or take your residents to the bathroom while you're on break, & maybe that's something the supervisor needs to know that."

See, I know this is all very juvenile, but the thing about mean, horrible lady is that she's never going to say anything to any supervisor.  She just likes to stir the pot.  She likes to cause trouble & have an attitude.  She believes that she will always get her way because we're scared of her, but in reality people go along with what she says because no one wants to listen to her.

This drove me crazy last night, but I refuse to get involved in work drama.  I  go, do my job & come home.  It does not control my life or make me sad or angry after the fact, & I'd really like to keep it that way.

But today, I need to write a list, & I've been inspired by mean, horrible lady.  If she thinks she's keeping tabs on everyone else, I hope she realizes we're keeping one on her - but not actually in a notebook, because that's just sad.  Anyway, here goes...

All the things mean, horrible lady does wrong:

• Accuses people of not helping other, even though she rarely helps anyone else.  She's actually never helped me...ever.
• Changes peoples wet briefs or incontinent pads without acutally cleaning the person because "it's quicker & then they're dry."
• Lies about walking residents who are still able to do so in an attempt to look good for the nurse. 
• Sits & watches while other CNAs (& sometimes people visiting residents!!) put clothing protectors on the residents before dinner. I FREAKING HATE THIS!!!!!!
• Doesn't feel bad about sticking someone who is does not regularly work on our floor with the most difficult group of residents, extra assignment or shower to give.

So you see, instead of being a leader with all that experience, she's just a pain in the ass.  She is the number one reason that I go to work & suddenly feel like I'm transported back to middle school.  And honestly, she is the reason I hate myself for even letting it ruffle my feathers in the first place.

I just need to rise above it - but sometimes I just want to call her a stupid-face.

Do I get a drink now?

Last night at work I was sent to another floor that was understaffed for the night.  The most interesting part about the evening was the repeater resident.  Very much like a child, this woman repeats everything she hears on TV, everything she has already says &, for some strange reason, the phrases, "Do I get a drink now?" & "Ok bitch, it's over!"

So last night while I was doing her care this is an example of how the conversation went - but I wasn't doing any of the talking.

"And who are you?"

"What are you doing?"

"Do I get a drink now?"

"Traffic is heavy on the northbound side."

"And who are you?"

"Ok bitch, it's over now."

"Do I get a drink now?"

"What are you doing?"

"Is that pie or cake? I think it's pie."

"Oh, it's cake."

"Do I get a drink now?"

By the time I got home last night, I'm the one who needed the drink...

It was my pleasure.

One of my residents passed away tonight.

When her family was leaving they thanked me & gave me hugs.

With tears in my eyes I told them I loved her too.

Her grandaughter said that was obvious.

Best compliment I've ever gotten at work.

I want the cheese curls.

It was a hard day at work.

One of the faves took a major turn for the worse last night, & it kept on going downhill today.  He will not be there when I get to work tomorrow, & my heart is breaking.

He's kind of a nuissance at times, & he's totally unaware of his surroundings when he comes wheeling down the hallway.  But he's also one of the sweetest people you could ever meet in your life.

He loves every kind of candy under the sun, & he has a cheese curl addiction like no other.

When other residents have passed away, I've always made time to spend a few quiet minutes with them so I could say goodbye.  It's a bittersweet experience because it's so sad, & yet I know that I am blessed to share those moments with people who sometimes have no one else.

But tonight was different.  Tonight I heard the other girls talking about how bad he looked & how things were only getting worse.  And I found every reason not to walk back that hallway.

Maybe it's selfish of me not to spend those moments with him, knowing his family wasn't there, but I couldn't bear to see him that way.  I don't want the image of him at the end in my mind.

I want the moments when he tried to sneak out of bed late at night because he just couldn't sleep if he didn't have some cookies.

I want the memories of him calling me "such a kind soul" just because I would help him change & get ready for bed.

I want the laughter that came along with all the quirky things he said & did.

I want the cheese curls, & I'm going to keep them always.

What's the difference?

I recently found out there's a blog dedicated to complaining about the care provided at the nursing home where I work.  It's written anonymously...so naturally, everyone knows who's writing it.  Although it's not about me, or anyone I really know directly, the whole thing bothered me.

And while I'd love to just come to the defense of all my coworkers, I know I can't.  Some of the things that were written are totally true & equally unacceptable.  Maybe that's  the part that bothers me so much.

The headline of the blog says something about the blog's author being "suprised by the vast difference in bringing a new life into this world & ushering an old life out."

That's actually where I have the issue.

Most people adore babies.  The idea of a newborn baby sends women into a happy frenzy, & as such one of the most coveted jobs in nursing is working in the OBGYN ward with all the newbies.

Now, imagine for me what fraction of that number makes up the people who want to work with eldery people as they come to the end of their lives.  BIG difference, huh?

And let's take it one step further & talk about my position, a CNA.  I didn't go to nursing school, & I'm only able to do basic care.  The biggest part of my job is to assist with activities of daily living:  dressing, feeding, toileting, etc.  It's an incredibly demanding job - physically, mentally & emotionally.

How much money do you suppose such a demanding job pays?

I'll save you the suspense...it ain't that much.

So let's get back to the vast difference between a birth & death.

Ushering in that new life is a lot more appealing, & like I said positions in that field of nursing are the proverbial holy grail.  I think that alone suggests that better people are going to work in those positions.

I'm not knocking the home I work for because they do the best they can, but let's face it - a warm body is better than nothing.  And there are those emnployees who are not particularly dedicated to their profession.

Is that right?  Absolutely not.  Is it the hard truth.]?  Absolutely.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can't unilaterally decide the nursing home is bad because of a few bad people.  Most of us are dedicated & do the best job we can every day.  And most of us truly care of the residents we're responsible to take care of.  I'm not suggesting we love them more than their families do, but it takes a certain level of affection to change someone's diaper while they're trying to punch you.

We don't have enough help for the reasons I mentioned before, which puts more of a burden on the people who are there.  Whether you're a good egg or a bad egg, you're only one egg - with 12-15 residents to take care of in a shift.  Non-essentials sometimes have to be skipped.  And with 60 people on a unit, family members need to realize that their loved one cannot always be the number one priority.

I learned very soon after starting this job that the only way I'll ever be all to handle on the emotion that goes along with it is to focus on one fact:  I do my best everyday, & I give the kind of care I would want my own family to have.  That's the only thing I can control.

I guess if I have to.

It's 9:30 in the morning.  I had to set the dreaded alarm to wake up this morning, which I never have to do (thank you 2nd shift!).  I'm currently blogging getting ready because I have to leave the house in an hour.

Why?

Because I'm going to a freaking crappy buffet with my freaking coworkers to exchange gifts.

Why did I ever agree to this?

Actually, I didn't.  The coworkers I'm not all warm & fuzzy about decided on this plan - because none of them have anything to do.

Look fellow bloggers, I know I watch a lot of Maury & Springer before work, but I do actually get a lot of things done.  I have to cook a meal, tend to the animals, help DJ get up & dress, etc..

I do not have time to drive to sed crappy buffet, pretend to like the people I'm there with & then turn around & come back home so I can rush to get DJ & I ready. 

Oh right, did I mention I have to go to work later?  That's right.  So I should be eating crappy buffet, & then  going to work at my very physical job for 8 hours tonight.  Good plan!

Again, the people who planned this adventure have no clue - one is on medical leave, one is on a month long vacation & the other is a charge nurse who never leaves the damn desk all night.

Wanna know what the icing on the cake is too?  I decided not to go last week, & then one of the coworkers I do like says, "You're the only reason I'm going."  Guilt trip much?

So, I agreed...& now she's not sure if she's going.  Her BF has to get a drug test for his new job, which is actually very important...but how could she leave me with these sucky people that we can't stand?  Who will sit with me & judge them?  Sniffles.

Who am I kidding?  I don't need help with the judging part.

But I will feel lonely, so think of me.  Wish me a speedy lunch with no traffic on the way back!