Say what?!?! - Adventures in CNA training.

CNA training is going really well.  I am not thrilled about being back on a first shift schedule, but it's temporary & I'll live.  Although the information I'm getting is thorough & important, no one wants to hear about that.  I know all you bloggy ladies want to hear the good stuff!  And here are some gems that came out of the class so far.

Our trainer, Nurse B., explained what a prolapsed uterus is & said this about the condition:

• "As you might imagine, that's not supposed to be rubbing on a resident's clothes or wheelchair.  It was never meant to see the light of day.  It gets kind of irritated, so part of the care plan may be to rub some ointment on it."
• "How will you know?  When you're doing perineal care, you'll see what looks like a cantaloupe."

Speaking of gravity, Nurse B offered the following tips:

• "When you get a resident in that whirlpool tub, don't be surprised if her little boobies float to the top.  And by the way, it works the same way with testicles."

Speaking of Nurse B, she's been around the proverbial block.  She's been in the medical field for 20+ years, so she's got some great stories!  One of my favorites was about a resident who was going out for the day with his family.  It didn't go so well, which was sad.  He came back to the nursing home screaming & in tears.  When he told her what happened, the story ended with:

• "And that goddamn toilet seat is loose.  Every time I sit on it, the damn thing pinches my balls.  I've been telling you people about it for 2 weeks, but no one does anything!"