It was a hard day at work.
One of the faves took a major turn for the worse last night, & it kept on going downhill today. He will not be there when I get to work tomorrow, & my heart is breaking.
He's kind of a nuissance at times, & he's totally unaware of his surroundings when he comes wheeling down the hallway. But he's also one of the sweetest people you could ever meet in your life.
He loves every kind of candy under the sun, & he has a cheese curl addiction like no other.
When other residents have passed away, I've always made time to spend a few quiet minutes with them so I could say goodbye. It's a bittersweet experience because it's so sad, & yet I know that I am blessed to share those moments with people who sometimes have no one else.
But tonight was different. Tonight I heard the other girls talking about how bad he looked & how things were only getting worse. And I found every reason not to walk back that hallway.
Maybe it's selfish of me not to spend those moments with him, knowing his family wasn't there, but I couldn't bear to see him that way. I don't want the image of him at the end in my mind.
I want the moments when he tried to sneak out of bed late at night because he just couldn't sleep if he didn't have some cookies.
I want the memories of him calling me "such a kind soul" just because I would help him change & get ready for bed.
I want the laughter that came along with all the quirky things he said & did.
I want the cheese curls, & I'm going to keep them always.