The random ramblings of a perpetual procrastinator. These are the life & times of a nursing home CNA navigating the ups & downs of living with someone who's living with a disability. A sometimes amusing, sometimes bittersweet look at my journey into real adulthood.

Monday, April 19, 2010

I get by with a little help from my friends.

Believe it or not, this isn't actually my first attempt at blogging.  Shortly before I met DJ I broke off an engagement with someone else.  It forced me to reevaluate my life & take a good, hard look at all the things I didn't like.

One evening I was on a back road car ride with my oldest friend.  It's a tradition of ours.  We blast the music & vent to one another.  On this particular road trip I was talking about my self evaluation, & it turns out she was  going through one too.  We decided together to fix ourselves - physically, mentally, emotionally.  And who better to do it with than the one person who knew all the "ugly" we kept hidden from the rest of the world?

And so, the blog was born...but it was short lived, because at the end of the day, we are the BIGGEST procrastinators ever.  However, as part of the exercise, we wrote bios of one another.  Even though our "experiment" failed, they still mean so much to me &  I'd like to share them.  Maybe someone will see a little bit of themself, or someone near & dear to their heart, in what we wrote.

Marcia, by Renee

 How does one sum up Marcia? You would think that after 12 years this would be easier. Hmm....let’s see - She is without a doubt the funniest person I know. At times her sense of humor is wildly inappropriate and incredibly juvenile but she never ceases to make you laugh when you really need it. For as funny & quirky as she seems at first she is equally as shy & private. She exists mostly in her own head & some of us are just lucky enough to be let in on occasion. What she doesn’t realize about herself is how fan-freaking-tastic she really is. She is brilliant & unique. Although it will make her uncomfortable to hear it  we could all stand to be a little more like Marcia. We’ve been friends through our awkward tween phase right up to being awkward twenty-somethings. She has seen me at my worst. I am most myself when I’m with her because she doesn’t expect me to hide the flaws. Our relationship has weathered it’s own Dark Age and yet we’ve emerged closer on the other side. There were moments when no one made me angrier than she did and I’m sure she feels the same way about me. But in spite of all that’s happened she is the one person who has always been there. I sincerely hope she feels the same way about that too. I realize that in describing her I’ve ended up talking about myself a lot & that’s because she is so much a part of who I am. I don’t know if I’d be brave enough to fix myself if she weren’t coming along for the ride. She’s more than my friend or even best friend. She’s my family. And to be perfectly honest I wouldn’t want to share the ups or downs of this experiment with anyone else. 

Renee, by Marcia

If you're looking for the definition of opposites you need look no further than myself and Renee. Renee, whether she likes it or not, radiates her emotions brightly into the world. You'll never have to ask how she's feeling on any particular day because it's always clear. Throughout her life Renee has had to develop a facade of toughness and bravado; what you may not know is that it masks a vulnerability and insecurity that she really doesn't deserve to feel. Renee is fiercely loyal to her family, friends and career. She will be the very first in line to set aside her happiness to aid someone she cares about. If she's let you into her world you need to consider yourself a lucky person. And for those of you who have seen your way out of Renee's World for whatever reasons (moving, breakup, epic fallout) you need to realize that she's never stopped loving you. She's not able to. You're forever nestled in her thoughts. She's a rare type who, unlike myself, is always fighting on the side of optimism and love. She believes in the happy ending, and I sincerely hope she finds it. She's a stellar human being. And there you have it my summary of my friend Renee.

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