The random ramblings of a perpetual procrastinator. These are the life & times of a nursing home CNA navigating the ups & downs of living with someone who's living with a disability. A sometimes amusing, sometimes bittersweet look at my journey into real adulthood.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Happy Anniversary, MomMom & PopPop

Today is my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary.

I have an ironic story to tell about this anniversary.  I think it pretty much sums up our relationship to a "T."

My mom & her siblings planned a big surprise party for them.  It's next Saturday at 3:00 - & I'm scheduled to work.  When my mom told me everyone was getting together to plan, I made it clear that the 28th would potentially be the 1st weekend I was scheduled for at my new job & that I would likely work that day.  So naturally, "that's the only day everyone could do it, Renee."

Unfortunately, because I'm new to my job I have no personal time.  They allow schedule switching, but weekends are really hard.  It's even worse in this case because it's my first scheduled weekend.  Despite my best efforts, I can't get the day off.  I will miss the party.

I have been a train wreck for weeks.  I've missed family functions before, but this is absolutely devastating.  Every time I talk to my mom or one of my aunts I get a speech about how "there must be something that can be done," or that, "this place doesn't sound like a good place to work."  It makes me more & more upset.

I came home from my sister's birthday party last weekend in tears.  DJ tried his best to comfort me, but to no fault of his own he couldn't.  Why?  That's the ironic part. 

Because the only thing that could make me feel better about missing my grandparent's party is them.

They helped raise me.  They have been the constant in my life.  They are my good example of love & marriage.

For as long as I can remember, they have been a part of nearly every memory - no matter how big or small.

I remember laying on the floor with my PopPop while he watched the news after supper.  I'd always put my head on his chest & listen to his heartbeat. 

I remember spending summer nights on my MomMom's lap in a rocking chair on the front porch.  She sang silly songs like "Camp Granada" for me.

As I've "grown up" into adulthood I've made a lot of decisions I'm not particularly proud of.  Although they haven't agreed with all of those decisions, they never turned their backs on me when I needed something.

I couldn't possibly love them more if I tried.



  1. I am sure they'll understand.. but I am sure it still hurts your heart.

    See if you can take them out to a special dinner, o invite them over! Make it personal, and make sure to write a card/letter to send with your mom, so they know how much you love them, and are missing out on their day!


  2. I really wish your family (not mommom & poppop) would have listened to you in the first place ... it would've saved them the guilt trips they're putting you through. I'm sorry that they are stressing you out about it, but you know that your grandparents love you - and are proud of your new job and the steps you're taking to make a career for yourself.

    It's frustrating to know that you can't be there, but if anyone will understand, it's them. *hugs* Love ya Sis!

  3. I know exactly the job situation you're in (in the sense that I miss a lot of stuff because of work too, and there really *isn't* any way to get out of it). I know it doesn't help you feel better, but your grandparents will understand even if nobody else in your family seems to. And, for their sake, I hope they never find out that you specifically asked for a different party date to start with...they might disown the rest of your family!